By Troy Stangarone
Being separated from the ones you love takes a toll on life. Over time we may adapt to life without them, but as the Korean Peninsula only knows too well a piece of us is left behind.
After the World War II, my grandmother, Mary, left Italy and her family for a new life in the United States. Growing up, I would occasionally hear her talk of the experience of war and her family, but they were a distant presence rather than one she had seen in person since the end of the war.
When I decided during college to go to Italy to meet my relatives before heading to Germany for a summer of study abroad, I asked my grandmother to join me on the trip. Convincing her to go wasn't easy.
But once we arrived in her hometown of Villareggia, it was hard to miss the joy and happiness in everyone's eyes as nearly five decades of separation came to an end. She couldn't wait to introduce me to family I had never met and show me how her home had changed.
No one was preventing my grandmother from returning to Italy. But in seeing how much she missed her family and was missed by all those left behind, you can understand the anguish that comes with not being able to see loved ones and the joy that comes from finally being able to see them again.
That's a joy that has largely been missing from the Korean Peninsula since the end of the Korean War. The division of the peninsula left parents divided from their children, brothers divided from their sisters. The passage of seven decades means that for many the hope of one day seeing their families again has faded. Those born after the Korean War have never been able to meet their relatives on the other side of the border.
While my grandmother and I were free to visit our relatives in the summer of 1998, Korean families have had to hope to be chosen for one of the brief family reunions that have taken place since 1985. While some 20,000 South Koreans have taken part in the reunions, there are still some 48,000 South Koreans that have not been as fortunate.
It may have taken nearly 50 years for my grandmother to return to Italy, but she remained in contact with them over the intervening years. Holidays and birthdays would mean letters or phone calls. An ocean may have divided my grandmother from her family, but the ties remained. The families of a divided Germany sought to maintain those ties as well. During the Cold War, East and West Germans were able to exchange letters and call each other. However, the Stasi monitored those interactions.
Despite the Berlin Wall taking on a more mythic character than the DMZ, the border between East and West Germany was also softer than the inter-Korean border. Germans were able to move across the border to see relatives. From 1964 to 1981, around a million East Germans would travel to West Germany each year. Dispensations were made for emergencies and some 50,000 East Germans would annually travel to West Germany for urgent family reasons.
At last week's summit between Presidents Joe Biden and Moon Jae-in, the United States and South Korea agreed to work to facilitate the reunion of separated families. This should be a priority for the two governments and they should work toward a more permanent ability for the families of the two Koreas to remain in touch.
Prior to the summit, the United States said that it would build its North Korea policy off of prior agreements with Pyongyang. In the Singapore statement the United States and North Korea agreed "to establish new US-DPRK relations in accordance with the desire of the peoples of the two countries for peace and prosperity."
People-to-people ties should be the bedrock of that new relationship. In the United States there are Korean American families who have also been cut off from the relatives. The United States should make clear that any new relationship should include the reunion of families ― be they Korean American or Korean ― and that it must be on more normalized terms than the controlled settings that have dominated prior family reunions.
However, we should be realistic in the progress that can be made with North Korea over the next year on this issue. Dealing with the pandemic and vaccinating North Korea's population may be all that the system can bear, any calls and letters between South and North Koreans are likely to be monitored. Regularizing travel may take even longer to establish. However, if the United States and South Korea are to build a new relationship with North Korea, they must have a place for families to heal their wounds. There needs to be a way to bring more tears of joy to both sides of the DMZ.
Troy Stangarone (ts@keia.org) is senior director and fellow at the Korea Economic Institute of America.
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After the World War II, my grandmother, Mary, left Italy and her family for a new life in the United States. Growing up, I would occasionally hear her talk of the experience of war and her family, but they were a distant presence rather than one she had seen in person since the end of the war.
When I decided during college to go to Italy to meet my relatives before heading to Germany for a summer of study abroad, I asked my grandmother to join me on the trip. Convincing her to go wasn't easy.
But once we arrived in her hometown of Villareggia, it was hard to miss the joy and happiness in everyone's eyes as nearly five decades of separation came to an end. She couldn't wait to introduce me to family I had never met and show me how her home had changed.
No one was preventing my grandmother from returning to Italy. But in seeing how much she missed her family and was missed by all those left behind, you can understand the anguish that comes with not being able to see loved ones and the joy that comes from finally being able to see them again.
That's a joy that has largely been missing from the Korean Peninsula since the end of the Korean War. The division of the peninsula left parents divided from their children, brothers divided from their sisters. The passage of seven decades means that for many the hope of one day seeing their families again has faded. Those born after the Korean War have never been able to meet their relatives on the other side of the border.
While my grandmother and I were free to visit our relatives in the summer of 1998, Korean families have had to hope to be chosen for one of the brief family reunions that have taken place since 1985. While some 20,000 South Koreans have taken part in the reunions, there are still some 48,000 South Koreans that have not been as fortunate.
It may have taken nearly 50 years for my grandmother to return to Italy, but she remained in contact with them over the intervening years. Holidays and birthdays would mean letters or phone calls. An ocean may have divided my grandmother from her family, but the ties remained. The families of a divided Germany sought to maintain those ties as well. During the Cold War, East and West Germans were able to exchange letters and call each other. However, the Stasi monitored those interactions.
Despite the Berlin Wall taking on a more mythic character than the DMZ, the border between East and West Germany was also softer than the inter-Korean border. Germans were able to move across the border to see relatives. From 1964 to 1981, around a million East Germans would travel to West Germany each year. Dispensations were made for emergencies and some 50,000 East Germans would annually travel to West Germany for urgent family reasons.
At last week's summit between Presidents Joe Biden and Moon Jae-in, the United States and South Korea agreed to work to facilitate the reunion of separated families. This should be a priority for the two governments and they should work toward a more permanent ability for the families of the two Koreas to remain in touch.
Prior to the summit, the United States said that it would build its North Korea policy off of prior agreements with Pyongyang. In the Singapore statement the United States and North Korea agreed "to establish new US-DPRK relations in accordance with the desire of the peoples of the two countries for peace and prosperity."
People-to-people ties should be the bedrock of that new relationship. In the United States there are Korean American families who have also been cut off from the relatives. The United States should make clear that any new relationship should include the reunion of families ― be they Korean American or Korean ― and that it must be on more normalized terms than the controlled settings that have dominated prior family reunions.
However, we should be realistic in the progress that can be made with North Korea over the next year on this issue. Dealing with the pandemic and vaccinating North Korea's population may be all that the system can bear, any calls and letters between South and North Koreans are likely to be monitored. Regularizing travel may take even longer to establish. However, if the United States and South Korea are to build a new relationship with North Korea, they must have a place for families to heal their wounds. There needs to be a way to bring more tears of joy to both sides of the DMZ.
Troy Stangarone (ts@keia.org) is senior director and fellow at the Korea Economic Institute of America.
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