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Thu, June 8, 2023 | 21:24
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYCo-worker insists on picking up check
[디어 애비] 계산을 고집하는 동료
Posted : 2023-03-16 17:57
Updated : 2023-03-17 14:32
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]


DEAR ABBY: I have a colleague who has become an amazing friend over the last few years.
애비 선생님께: 지난 몇 년 간 놀라운 친구로 발전한 직장 동료가 있습니다.


We plan dinner dates or work conferences periodically, and we also try to book spa appointments together when we have vacation time.
저희는 주기적으로 저녁 약속이나 직장 회의를 잡고, 휴가를 갈 때면 함께 스파 예약도 하려고 합니다.


"Sandy" is everything a person would want in a friend.
"샌디"는 사람들이 친구에게서 바라는 모든 걸 갖추었습니다.


However, when we go out to eat, she usually insists on paying for my meal.
그러나 외식을 할 때 샌디는 제 식사값까지 지불하려고 합니다.


She has also prepaid some of my spa appointments.
샌디는 제 스파 예약까지 선지불했습니다.


When this pattern first started, I was a little put off, but I appreciated her generosity — maybe a little selfishly — because it saved me money.
처음 이런 행동을 보였을 때 저는 머뭇거렸지만 약간 이기적이게도 돈을 절약할 수 있어서 샌디의 너그러움에 고마워했습니다.


But now I feel constantly indebted to her because I can never seem to return the favor.
하지만 이제는 항상 그녀에게 빚 진 기분이 드는데, 그녀의 호의를 절대 갚을 수 없을 것 같기 때문입니다.


When I insist on paying for myself, we argue and bicker.
제 걸 계산하려고 하면 저희는 싸우고 다툽니다.


Sandy says she wants to show her appreciation for my partnership at work.
샌디는 회사에서 자신과 동업한 것에 대한 고마움을 표현하고 싶다고 말합니다.


She also explains that I have children (who are assumedly expensive) whereas she is childless.
또 샌디는 자신은 아이가 없지만 저는 (아마 많은 돈이 들어갈) 자녀들이 있다고 설명합니다.


She justifies it by rationalizing that her husband makes an impressive salary.
샌디는 자신의 남편이 꽤 많은 돈을 번다는 사실로 합리화하려고 합니다.

They are comfortable, but not extravagantly wealthy.
그들은 넉넉하지만 엄청나게 부유하지는 않습니다.


Lately, I have come to resent the situation because I don't want to feel like a charity case.
최근 이런 상황을 분하게 느끼게 되었는데, 복지 수혜 대상자처럼 느끼고 싶지 않기 때문입니다.


Not only am I more than able to pay for myself, I also don't want to feel limited when ordering food.
제 몫은 제가 낼 능력이 충분히 될 뿐만 아니라 저는 음식 주문할 때 제한 받고 싶지 않습니다.


Knowing she's going to foot the bill makes me reluctant to order the food or beverage of my choosing.
샌디가 계산할 거라는 걸 알면 제가 먹고 싶은 음식이나 음료를 주문하기가 망설여 집니다.


How do I approach this without tarnishing our professional work relationship and the friendship we have built?
회사에서의 관계나 저희가 쌓아온 우정을 손상시키지 않고 어떻게 이런 상황에 접근할 수 있을까요?


Is this the altruism of a selfless person and my ego getting in the way?
이타적인 사람의 이타주의인가요, 아니면 저의 자존심이 끼어드는 건가요?


Or is there a deeper motive I haven't considered?
혹은 제가 고려하지 않은 더 깊은 동기가 있나요?


— TREATED TOO WELL
— 너무 잘 대접받는 독자


DEAR TREATED: I am going to assume that you have already communicated to Sandy that this dynamic makes you uncomfortable, and why.
대접받는 독자분께: 독자분께서 샌디에게 이러한 관계 역학이 독자분을 불편하게 만들며, 왜 그런지도 이미 이야기하셨을 거라고 생각하겠습니다.


If you haven't, do it now.
만약 그러지 않으셨다면, 당장 하세요.


She may be the soul of generosity, but some people use money as a means to control or dominate others.
샌디는 너그러움의 소유자일 수도 있지만, 어떤 사람들은 타인을 통제하고 지배하기 위한 수단으로 돈을 사용합니다.


Not knowing Sandy, I can't guess what motivates her, but clearly the two of you should be able to have a mature conversation without anyone becoming defensive.
샌디가 어떤 사람인지 모르기 때문에 그녀의 동기를 알 수는 없지만, 분명하게도 두 분께서는 서로 방어적이 되지 않고도 성숙한 대화를 하실 수 있어야 합니다.

KEY WORDS
■ colleague (같은 직장이나 직종에 종사하는) 동료
■ periodically 주기적으로
■ insist on ~을 고집하다
■ generosity 너그러움
■ indebted to ~에게 빚을 지다
■ favor 호의, 친절
■ comfortable 풍족한, 넉넉한
■ extravagantly 사치스러울 정도로
■ charity case 복지 수혜 대상자
■ foot the bill 비용을 부담하다, 돈을 치르다
■ tarnish 손상시키다
■ altruism 이타주의, 이타심
■ ego 자존심
■ dynamic (서로 관계되는 영향력 사이의) 역학
■ dominate 지배하다
■ motivate 동기를 부여하다
■ defensive 방어적인


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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